Israel, First World Country

Though Israel often seems chaotic, on occasion, it actually seems to be a first world country. Like when my buddy Josh accidentally left his wallet on the bus from Eilat to Beersheva, and the bus continued along to Tel Aviv, and when he called the next morning, the bus station lost and found in Tel Aviv actually had his wallet, with all the money intact. Zionism is working and human decency does exist.

The Best Part of Eilat... MacDavids!

I found a MacDavid's in Eilat. MacDavid's was the fast food chain before McDonalds and Burger King came and Burger Ranch rose up. I went there when I was six, with my parents. The burger was very good, it reminded me of In N Out Burger in Cali. Very good.

Eilat Baby! Eilat!

On the weekend we went to Eilat, Israel's tourist trap in the very tip of the south, on the Red Sea. You can see Jordan and Egypt, even Saudi Arabia in the distance. What can I say about Eilat?

For starters, it makes Tel Aviv look religious. It is utterly Godless. The only yarmulke I saw there was on a small child who was running this Bungee-ball ride. There were tons of tourists, from Israel and elsewhere. We also encountered a group of Danish breakdancers, who apparently have a show there. I spoke to them in French.

People compare Eilat to Vegas. I've never been to Vegas, but I imagine it's more impressive. So then people compare Eilat to Reno, or Atlantic City (it is quite seedy). Some say it's like Myrtle Beach. It almost reminds me of a travelling carnival you might see in a small US state.

The beaches are not that nice, thoug the water is very nice. Very clear, though very cold. The night life is ok. But there is nothing really special to the city. And it is not Israel. Definitely not Israel. But maybe that's why people like it.

Bedouin handbags and Yerucham

On Thursday, we had education day in the south, to examine the real periphery. We're talking south of Beersheva. First we went to a "recognized" Bedouin village, where this Bedouin woman talked about how the women there had started their own sewing business. This seemed like a large sales pitch as we went to the little store afterwards, and sure enough, bought tons of stuff. Then, we went to an "unrecognized" Bedouin village (as opposed to Bedouin tents and villages specifically designed for tourists). This was pretty dismal, and there was no food for us because it is Ramadan (just because they are fasting, we should suffer?). After that, we went to Yerucham, a small development town, about 10,000 people, in the south, mostly religious, Sephardim and Russians. It was also pretty dismal, though it had these strange pillars in the middle, and between them was a slide, which we slid down. Apparently these pillars are called the Identification/Identity Towers. I don't really know why. We spoke to some American woman, from Boston actually, who said she liked living there. Not sure why.

First off, tack on another three* schwarmas

So a lot has happened in the last fews days. Perhaps most importantly, I had 3* more schwarmas. The first was at Falafel HaGesher last Wednesday night. The third was in the Beersheva mall, at a place called Reviva, which apparently was started by a famous Israeli soccer player of the same name (think Tim Horton's, but with schwarma). This schwarma was Keves (lamb), totally delicious. The middle schwarma, you guessed it, my second McSchwarma. It was also quite good. I also had a McFlurry (making the meal decidely unkosher). Israeli McFlurries are rather similar to North American McFlurries in that they are delicious.

ChiSox Win

Watched the end of the game this morning. Actually, I listened to it, cuz the video went off midway through the bottom of the 9th. Anyways, I just wanted to say I'm happy for the ChiSox and their fans. The ghost Shoeless Joe can rest easy. And here's a shout-out to my buddy Steve. Enjoy this one my friend.

Schwarma 13* and Suicide Bombing

Had Schwarma today for dinner at Falafel HaGesher. Also had falafel for lunch. There was a suicide bombing today at a falafel stand in Hadera. So we felt it important to have falafel and schwarma in solidarity. This bombing is kind of jarring I guess, as some of our trip members have host famillies in Hadera, including my friend Ben (his host family is safe). I hope things don't escalate.

Schwarma 12* and Chagim musings

Had my 12th* schwarma, at Falafel HaGesher. Was good. I know put Hamba, which is a slightly spicy mango sauce, on all my schwarmas or falafels. I really enjoy it.

What I don't enjoy is Chag (the holidays). Shabbat and the Chagim in Israel are very oppressive to the secular. Everything is closed. In October, the whole goddamn country shuts down. This just isnt' right. I know it's a Jewish State and all, but I really believe this must change. Buses should run, and stores should feel that they have a right to be open. It's really bothersome. The weekends feel shorter too. And Sunday is a weekday. I'm still not used to that.

Schwarma 11* and Putt-Putt

Had my 11th* schwarma at a food court in a Tel Aviv mall. Decent schwarma, though we had to dress it ourselves, and it was expensive (20 shekels). I also put too much hareef.

Earlier that evening, Ben and I played mini-golf. How this happened went something like this: (Ben and I walking aimlessly in north Tel Aviv, around 6:00 pm).

Ben: What is that?
Me: I think that's a mini-golf course.
Ben: Yeah, it is a mini-golf course.
Me: Do you want to play mini golf?
Ben: Kind of. Yeah, yeah I do.
Me: Let's play mini golf.

So we played. Ben opened with a hole in one and took an early lead, but I came back to win, 53 strokes to 58 strokes. A few notes about Israeli mini golf:

1) They only give you one ball. Not only that, but you have to give a 5 shekel deposit.

2) Many of the holes are incredibly hard. We suspect this may be some kind of training ground for Sayeret Matkal. Seriously, one several holes it was virtually impossible to get holes in one. There were a few holes with rudimentary obstacles like ramps and blocks, but others with Dinosaurs or a statue of Pinnochio with a space between his legs barely big enough for a ball to go through. This was very hard.

3) The ground around the greens was filled with pebbles. Yet these pebbles had also scattered themselves all over the greens, even onto the tee area where the holes begin. This made the course even harder.

Despite all this, a great time was had. Now I'm back in Beersheva, resting some more, getting ready for Simchat Torah tomorrow night.

Fun exchange with a bouncer

Trying to get in to a bar in TA on Friday night, I had this exchange with the Russian bouncer.

Me: We are very importnat Americans. My father is George Bush.
Bouncer: My father is Putin.
Me: Really?! Then our fathers are friends!

He smiled, but did not let us in any earlier.

Sending a Fax on Chol HaMoed

Still in Rehovot. I had to send a fax to the United States today. It is still Chol HaMoed here in Israel, those interim days between Succot and Simchat Torah which are sort of holidays but sort of not. So banks and everything else that's not a restaurant closes at around noon. I had to go to the bank, but first to the post office to send a fax. Despite it's advanced military technology, despite cell phones everywhere, there are times when Israel seems like a third world country. Chol HaMoed is one of those times. Of course, at the post office, they tell me I cannot send a fax there. I have to go next door, to Gadi. I assume Gadi is another store or some such business. In fact, Gadi is Gadi Cohen, who runs a small business out of his apartment, to the left and up the stairs. He has a little office, with a little fax machine. He charges me 8 shekels for the fax. After, his wife asks if I want something to eat. I would have, but I had to rush to the bank. In any case, this could only happen in Israel. It reminds me of the beginnig of Amos Oz's memoirs, "A Tale of Love and Darkness," which relates the story of how, in the 1940s, his family would arrange to go to the local drugstore to make phone call once a month. Times have changed, or have they?

In another news, I had Dominos Pizza and Chicken Wings today. Pizza (pepperoni of course) was solid, wings were decent too. I did not have twisty bread or cinnastix, though I wanted to very badly. Next time.

Yored Geshem

I'm sitting in my room in my family's house in Rehovot, when all of sudden, I ehar splash splash splash on the floor. The window is wide open, and it has started to rain! This is the first rain I've ever experienced in Israel, ever. And it is raining hard. I feel like frolicking outside. Actually, no I don't. I feel like eating.

Succot en Francais

Michelle and I went to have Succot dinner last night in the Succah of some of the french guys from our ulpan. There were also a couple of other Montrealers around who had made Aliyah. It was a very nice succah and a good experience all around. Except for the watermelon. That was really bad. It's out of season now.

I'm off to Rehovot today to relax with my family there. Chag Sameach everyone.

A Trip to the Canyon

Yesterday, I went to the Canyon (shopping mall) mainly to go to the food court, to have Burger King. As you know, I've had McDonald's in Israel, which I have enjoyed tremendously for the most part, and Burger Ranch, which disappointed me greatly. Burger King was somewhere in the middle. My Burger was superb, but the fries were shit (Burger King fries are shit in America too) and the drink was incredibly watered down. I did get a crown, which I wore in the mall, which was fun. At the food court, there were at least 3 schwarma places. One had both turkey and lamb, and let me tell you, the lamb was tempting. I am definitely going to go back to the food court solely for the lamb schwarma.

Yay for Maccabi Tel Aviv

Went to a bar in Omer (a town near Beersheva) on Sunday night and watched Maccabi Tel Aviv down the Toronto Raptors in thrilling fashion, 105-103, with Anthony Parker hitting the game-winner with .8 seconds remaining. It was nice to see all those Israeli flags in the stands in Toronto. This was just an exhibition game and clearly the European league is not NBA level yet, but it strikes me that the NBA is still stagnant, while the European teams are improving. We of course saw this in the Olmypics last year. Of course, in the European pro league, many players are American. On Maccabi Tel Aviv, a handful of players were Jewish. I saw guys named Green and Burstein. Very exciting. The fact that Tel Aviv is getting this recognition is definitely a good thing. And there was no case of dual loyalties with me. Montrealers generally hate Toronto teams (especially the Leafs, Blue Jays and Argonauts). To the Raptors, we have mixed views, we don't like Toronto but if we like basketball they are Canada's only team. I normally do root for the Raptors, but I am Jew first, Canadian second, and I have much more loyalty to Israel than to any other nation on Earth.

Schwarma 10*

Had my tenth* schwarma tonight from Falafel HaGesher. It was actually the best schwarma I've had there yet, possibly the best in Israel thus far. Not sure why. The good news is that my schwarma intake is increasing, though my rate may dip again as I prepare to embark on Succot vacation.

Another McDonalds Experiment

Went to Mickey-Dees with Josh and Ben for dinner tonight. Josh had the McSchwarma (I had a bite, but that doesn't count on the tally), Ben got a couple of burgers and I had the McRoyale Hareef Esh. In Israel, the quarter pounder is the McRoyale, not the Royale as in France, as immortalised by Pulp Fiction. Hareef Esh means "Spicy Fire" and let me say that this burger was big, probably bigger than an American quarter pounder, but it was just too spicy. Also, there was no cheese, as I didn't ask for cheese and kind of just assumed they would put some. That sort of annoyed me, but I guess it was my mistake. The fries were good though. See, I have this temptation to always order "Flavor of the Month" or those equivalent type meals, as well as local meals like the McSchwarma. But I should have realized that hot and spicy is not McDonald's territory. That's much more of a Wendy's thing, and Wendy's never made it to Israel, and now Dave Thomas is dead. Anyways, next time, I'm going to order a standard order, like the Big Mac or the McRoyale (without Hareef Esh), or the McSchwarma.

Kibbutz Dance Club

Went to a dance club at a kibbutz last night. A bit bizarre I suppose, but not really. One dance floor indoors played 90s music, the other, outdoors, played hip hop and Israeli. Kibbutz HaMetzarim is apparently one of the wealthiest kibbutzim in the country, and it showed. I guess when you have all that space, and you are totally secular, a good investment is to open a dance club for secular Israelis to go to on Friday nights. Of course, it is a bit weird to be walking towards a dance floor and smell farm smells all around you. But I suppose they have raves at barns in the United States and Canada. I've just never been to any.

Schwarma in the Shuk

Went to the Shuk in Beersheva yesterday. Had my 9th* schwarma, for only 13 shekels. It was hodu again, and not great. The hareef (spicy stuff) they used was not as good as the hareef in the Gesher. Oh well. The shuk itself was cool, lots of Arabs milling around.

Yom Kippur in Jerusalem

I sometimes get the feeling that Otzma tries to fabricate religious experiences for us. Clearly, Yom Kippur in Jerusalem is not like Yom Kippur anywhere else in Israel. Still, it was rather incredible. There were almost no moving cars on the road, traffic lights were off, every store was closed, the city was dead. Except for all the people walking to and from shul, or the kids whizzing by on their bicycles.

As far as I know, everyone on Otzma fasted. This was not imposed upon us, ut if you did not bring your own food, it would have been rather difficult to find any. At the pre-fast meal in the youth hostel, I chatted briefly with the Arab kitchen staff. They were in the middle of Ramadan. It's a bit different, but they do this every day for a month. Wow.

Erev Yom Kippur, for Kol Nidre, Ben, Fievel (our madrich) and I went to a small Italian Sephardic shul. It was very nice, on the second floor of a museum, which was a bit strange. Also, not only were the melodies different, but even the WORDS to Kol Nidre were different. So that was a bit disappointing. Still, it was a worthwhile experience. We saw 3 people fall asleep in the service, and we heard the rabbi list a bunch of Italian names. After the service, Ben and I met up with some other Otzmanikim and went to the Kotel, which was cool. Tried to think about my sins and all.

The next day I slept through morning services, missing them for the first time in my life. I spent the day suffering through the fast, chatting and walking around and then laying out in a park. Ben, Jen H and I went to the King David hotel for Ne-ilah services, and then afterword snuck in to their buffet break-fast. This was awesome: elaborate breads and cheeses, lox and fruits and cakes, freshly squeezed orange juice and delicious Yoplait yogourt. This was vastly superior to the dreck Otzma would serve later, so this was a wise decision.

That evening, went to Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf with Ben, Michelle and Ben's friend Dan. Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf is an LA chain that for some reason exists in Israel. They were playing LA news on the television, and the chasiers all spoke to us in English immediately. It didn't feel like Israel. Then again, a lot of Yom Kippur didn't really feel like Israel, or not the Israel I was used to. Usually, the only religious people I encounter here are North Americans, or maybe Brits. I'm generalizing of course, but you get the idea. Still, the Yom Kippur experience wasn't a North American experience either. I still don't really know what to make of it.

Off to Jerusalem

Going to Jerusalem for Yom Kippur tomorrow (later today technically). Should be interesting, very different than the secular Rosh Hashana in Haifa. Rosh Hashana in Israel is like Christmas in America: an excuse for the family to get together and have a dinner, but with no real religious content. Yom Kippur, apparently, is a different story, for those who celebrate it at least. Supposedly, the whole country shuts down. But we'll see.

A day in Haifa

Spent the day in Haifa today, saw where we will be living, in the Abu Gosh absorption center in Haifa. Our rooms should be big and comfortable. We also saw a bunch of places where we can volunteer. We had a nice fish lunch. But I'm very tired now.

Schwarma 8* and a discovery

I had my eighth schwarma (including the one McSchwarma) yesterday. It was falafel hagesher. I also discovered that the schwarma there is made of hodoo, or turkey. That's a bit disappointing. I prefer lamb, or even beef, which they usually use in Montreal.

Thoughts on Gentile Visitors to Israel, Germans

There are a ton of gentile tourists in Israel. In my youth hostel room in Tel Aviv, I was staying with a blond American from North Carolina, a German and a Dutch UN peacekeeper of Colombian extraction. The American and the German were studying Arabic in Ramallah. The German had lived in Israel for a year and spoke great Hebrew. When I enterred the room, I stumbled in on a conversation where the Dutchman asked the German if he ever felt any animosity from Israelis because he is German. He said no. The Dutchman proceeded to ask about education in Germany, how the Holocaust was dealt with, etc. The German, as is standard German proceduce, kept on emphasizing how Germans hate Nazis, how they are taught extensively about the period, and how removed he is from the past. I didn't get any sense of his views on Israel though. I interjected into the conversation to recommend the film "Walk on Water." The nagging thought running through my mind was "it's all well and good to repudiate your Nazi past, but do you hate Israel? And if you, have you really repudiated that past at all?"

Tough luck for Bosox

The Red Sox are gone in a flash. Too bad. Being here in Israel it was really hard to follow and it happened to suddenly. But as I admitted to my buddy Steve who's toiling away in Chi-town, I've always had a soft spot in my heart for the ChiSox (growing up I loved Frank Thomas and also the legends of Shoeless Joe Jackson) and I'd love to see that other curse of the Black Sox scandal go down the drain. Here's to hoping that the White Sox take down the Cards in an epic World Series which I can watch on mlb.tv. And as for the Bosox, wait til next year. If I were them, I would dump salary and rebuild the team around Ortiz, Manny and Renteria... and Varitek cuz he is the heart and soul.

A taste of Ashqelon

Spent Thursday night in Kfar Silver, the youth village where the other half of the Otzma group lives, near Ashqelon. A youth village is essentially a kibbutz for troubled high schoolers. They have a school there, athletic facilities, dorms, dining room and farm animals and an emu (but no llama). My buddy Ben gave a me a tour. Then we went out to the marina in Ashqelon and chilled with Dave F and Jenna. It was nice. The next day, Ben and I went to the beach, an absolutely beautiful beach, much nicer and more pleasant than Tel Aviv. Of course, Tel Aviv is where I am now, spending this wonderful Sabbath eve, likely in the most secular of fashions. I promise lengthier posts soon analyzing the Rosh Hashana experience and everything.

The Zionist Frontier

On Thursday, the Beersheva group had a group volunteer project at Ashelim, a place 40 minutes south of Beersheva, in the middle of the Negev desert. Literally the middle of nowhere. Ashelim is a tiny little student town, for students in the Negev, usually Ben Gurion university. The students go to university for free and live for free, but they literally built the town, the buildings, the electricity, the water, everything. The student who live there, a few dozen now, all do 10 hours of community service a week with kids who live in the south. Ariel Sharon visited there, it's a really incredible place. These people are young idealistic Zionists. They sort of remind of people today who want to be hippies, who wish it was still the 60s. These people are not religious, but they wish it was 1948 and they could settle the land, make the desert bloom. Still, they are awesome.

So what did we do? Some of us simply moved around sand, and other planted flowers and other helped set up electricity. But I was in the group that helped build a road, we placed the stones down, mixed cement and the spackled the cement between the stones. It was real work! For some reason, whenever I put a rake or shovel to sand, I feel like a Zionist. So this was really awesome. I especially enjoyed mixing the cement. While we were working, I decided to sing negro spirituals, like "When Israel was in Egypt's Land," which I thought was rather appropropriate. What's really cool about this place was also the fact that wherever you look, you don't see city, you see desert.

A Brief Note on Post-Season Baseball

I purchased the mlb.tv package to watch all the post-season games on my laptop. We watched also the last two games of the regular season, Red Sox-Yankees, which were fun (the second more than the first, obviously). We didn't watch the Red Sox get routed last night. Anyways, we're sitll keeping the faith in the Holy Land. Go Red Sox.

Irony of ironies

All my life, on Rosh Hashana, I have gone to synagogue, to hear the shofar sound in the New Year. This year, however, in Israel, the Holy Land, I frolicked in a swimming pool and played basketball barefoot on a formerly Stalinist kibbutz, rather than sit and pray in shul. Let me explain.

I have spent (and am spending) Rosh Hashana in Haifa, with my host family. On Monday night, we went to the father, Eli's, mother's apartment, for a nice Ashkenazi dinner. When we ate the apples and honey, I uttered a bracha, but felt out of place, even though my host brother, Amit, found it amusing and decided to say a few others, for fun. There were no yarmulkes, no holiday candles. There was gefilte fish and other delicious food.

The next day, we woke up early and travelled to kibbutz Masereek, a Shomer Hatza'ir kibbutz founded about 75 years ago by Czech-Jewish socialists. We ate a nice breakfast and then went swimming, played basketball and did nothing remotely Jewish. There were apples and honey but not many and I didn't have any. Lunch was delicious. The people living on the kibbutz are from Zehava's family, which is of Lebanese descent. So the food was Mizrachi, spicy and wonderful.

After lunch, I rested and spoke to Paul (name changed to protect identity), the Filipino personal assistant to Zehava's father, who had a stroke. This was fascinating, and I will talk more about it later.

Dinner was a Paraguayan bbq, the steaks were slwo-roasted and wonderful. After dinner I returned to Haifa to rest. Today, I return to the kibbutz. I will talk more about all my experiences soon.

McSchwarma*

At the end of the evening, Brian and I went to McDonalds by the beach. Now I've always been a big fan of trying regional McDonald's dishes: in Spain I remember having an Ox-burger. But the McSchwarma, this was a whole new world (they also had a McKabob, but this didn't seem as good). After all, the McSchwarma represents the unification of two of my favorite things in the entire world: McDonalds and Schwarma. The McSchwarma itself was pretty good, not the best schwarma ever, but certainly not the worst. But the question is: does it count as real schwarma? Or will there be an asterisk forever, like Maris' 61? Right now, the schwarma count stands at 7*.

Friday in TA, more of the same

We decided to stay an extra day in TA. We rested early on Friday, just sort of chilling. Had shitty schwarma for dinner (which I mentioned earlier) with my buddy Ben. Then we went again to the beautiful bar on the beach and smoked nargila. After this, Ben, Brian and I decided to go to a pickup bar called Shoshana Johnson. Apparently, in Israel they have these things called pickup bars, where it is understood that people who go are single and there to pickup. It didn't really feel that different than a normal bar though. We stumbled onto a private birthday party on the second floor and ended up having a good time.

Thursday Night in TA

We checked into our hostel on Hayarkon, near the beach. It was a fine, clean hostel. Strangely, there were tons of apparently non-Jewish people around: a girl from Toronto, another from Switzerland who was in Israel learning to scuba dive. Also several Australians and Germans.

We went to an Indian restaurant, which was pretty decent. Then we went to this American Bar right near the beach called "Mike's Place." The bar is famous: on April 3, 2003, a suicide bomber killed 3 patrons and wounded 40 others and totally destroyed the bar. The bar was rebuiult in the same location shortly after and is very successful to this day. There was a toga party there: people in togas got free shots. So the American waiters gave the Otzma girls toags to wear. I didn't much care for Mike's place, it was too American. I don't need to go to Israel to experience frat parties.

After this, we went to a bar on the beach again (the same bar I had been to weeks earlier, very beautiful, the reason the war was won in 1948). We smoked nargila. Then late at night, we went to this dairy desert place, Yodvatah, which a few weeks ago had served my friends and I the worst pizza I had ever had. So I had some reservations, but I caved. I had a chocalate souffle, which was average. But Josh and Brian had pancakes which were awful. So we're never going back, ever.

Adventures in Tel Aviv

Spent Thursday, Friday and Saturday morning (today) in Tel Aviv. Here's part 1 of the story:

Thursday was our education day in TA. It was on Israeli culture and actually very interesting. We saw clips from "Walk on Water," the best Israeli movie I've ever seen, which was great, and then from this other movie about the Russian immigrant woman which looked good, and finally from "Sof Ha-Olam Smolah" (Make a Left at the end of the world). All very cool. Then we had a speaker talk to us about modern dance in Israel, which was a bit odd, cuz she didn't tlak aobut Israeli dance. Then she showed us some of the stuff she choreographed, and it was interesting if a bit bizarre. Occasionally, people were flopping around like chickens (but not doing the funky chicken). It occurred to me that modern dance is a bit like the Jackie Mason joke about Picasso: if you saw you're five year old son do this, you'd put him in a sanitarium. After this, we had a speaker talk to us aobut grafitti in Israel, which was cool, cuz we saw some of it later outside, like these imprints that were placed inside of street signs, and these hearts that were tiled onto the streets, and even the steps near Rabin Square. Then we had a free lunch, where I had good Italian pizza, and then we did a walking tour of Jaffa, whih was beautiful.

A quick shwarma update

Had a couple of schwarma's, one at Falafel Hagesher, which was great, and one at a place near the beach in Tel Aviv, which was absolute shit. Really disappointing. These represent schwarma's five and six. I know you're very disappointed with my performance. A month into the trip and only six schwarmas consumed. But in a couple of posts, you'll be very pleased I think.