"Go Fuck Yourself"

We call it "The Response." You encounter it all the time in this Holiest of lands, like music to your ears. "Go Fuck Yourself," or "Lech Lehizdayen" is the standard response to any inquiry or request you make of someone you do not know in Israel. This isn't always true, and it's seldom in these words, but it's almost always implied. Sometimes you even get it with a smile, as if you should be pleased to be a recipient of this most authnetic cultural experience. I'm almost disappointed wheb we don't get it. It's quite remarkable. I suppose it's not that different from much of Europe: France, Spain and Italy in particular. Customer service is a North American phenomenon. Today, at the bank, Josh and I experienced this when we tried to cash our cheques. One, two, three tellers told us, effectively, to go fuck ourselves. The fourth time was the charm, however, we got it done. As we have been advised, in Israel, "No means maybe, and maybe means yes."

This situation is countered by the incredible generosity that Israelis, if they know you or take a liking to you, are prepared to offer. My father's friends Peter and Ruth are a perfect example, welcoming us in to their homes and providing us with meals, beds, directions, even a key.

Is this the state that Hertzl dreamed of, where you can be told to go fuck yourself one minute and welcomed into a home with open arms in another? I don't know. But I love it here.